a kiss is not a contract, but it’s very nice.*
January 31, 2008
urban dictionary told me a new word the other day: choreplay. this apparently is when women get turned on because their men are doing things around the house, like taking out the recycling, which is not foreplay but is still very important.
yes, there is so much that goes into making for good sexual chemistry. maybe chores is among them. but i contend that kissing is at the core. often overlooked for the bigger payoffs, but absolutely essential nonetheless. in fact, i postulate that you can tell everything about the potential of a lover based on how s/he kisses. (e.g. a passive kisser is a passive lover).
i think kissing is marvelous. i love doing it. i kiss everyone, to varying degrees of course. it’s fun, it makes me feel warm, and it’s ridiculously endearing. it can connect people like hugs (except for the “A” hug, where you both push your butts out and make no pelvis contact, which is appropriate for forcing platonic relationships or with grandparents. but still.) an unbelievable kiss can change your whole perspective. even if you’re not a part of it.
for example, josh kisses chicks on camera. when we were together, i got comfortable with it initially by pausing, rewinding, and watching again in curious agony. but, then, at one point, i thought, “dang, he looks like a good kisser.” i could appreciate the art of it! in fact, i bet the actresses he kissed (or will kiss) — even though they’re in character and reportedly not at all invested in the emotion of the kiss because it’s allegedly fabricated anyway — thought, “nice.” (then proceeded to email him off-set opening their homes in los angeles to him.)
i can be completely moved to adore an actor i see onscreen if he looks like a fantastic kisser. it’s so hot! like jake gyllenhaal, who looks uncannily similar to this douchebag i knew from high school — i can look past that resemblance during his kissing scenes because seriously that dude must be amazing to make out with. other top performers include leo dicaprio and brad pitt. maybe being ridiculously hot makes you automatically a hot kisser. but probably not, because losers include zach braff (who i find attractive, but who is clearly a passive kisser, which is sad because his lips are terribly full so you think he’d make more assertive use of them. maybe he should take me on as his coach.) and elijah wood (again very sadly).
i pay attention to the basics. they’re the blocks from which all other things are built, no?
* (oh jemaine, i would like to kiss you.)
jealousy or competitiveness. i’m not sure.
January 30, 2008
i’m probably a jealous person. i try to reconcile with myself since i’m living for me these days, but frankly, it’s not easy. which is weird, because if i’m not expecting anything, it follows that i shouldn’t be jealous. right?
right. so i like to just think i’m competitive. i want to be the best i can be. i want to be everything to everyone.
er, maybe i should start with wanting to be realistic.
health: i can’t go to the gym unless someone pays me. i love love love getting people energized about their health. i help them see things from a new perspective and teach group fitness classes because it actually energizes me. when i just am supposed to show up to the gym and lift some weights in a room full of grunting dudes, the appeal disappears. i feel good after the gym. those endorphins are real, man. but i also like hiking in the hills of santa cruz and swimming in the ocean and diving and doing gymnastics and not running in place on a treadmill. better spice up my routine rather than rely on the gym. hmmmm.
life: this whole blog is about the twists and turns of my life. where have i been? where am i going? where can i find fulfillment? and all those existential questions i’m constantly asking and re-asking myself. and wanting to throat punch myself over for not yet having answers. i’m too competitive with the little time on earth i have. maybe i’ll end up in mexico as a meteorologist. or in tiffin, managing the advertiser-tribune newspaper. but i hope not. anyway, who knows? not me. so i compete with myself to find out. i hardly ever win.
love: then i think about how dating can be not fun at all. because there are always other people involved. uh, that’s the definition of dating. which is great logically, but news to me emotionally as a serial long-term relationship person. this could just be straight jealousy without an ounce of competitiveness here. probably not, though. i should get over it. or maybe i shouldn’t date. it’s tiring. sneakies is single. maybe i’ll date her. and then become a crazy old woman who throws cats at people. brilliant!
money: i think about how working another job or moving into another industry would mean i’d have a higher salary. then i’d be able to do some of the awesome things i want to do with money i don’t have. and go to some of the awesome places like the caribbean, just because. somehow, i’d have loads of leave from whatever high-paying job i was working. and maybe then i’d retire early.
but then this all goes away somehow and i feel normal again.
phew.
don’t wag your head at me
January 29, 2008
why do people in traffic think they are the only ones frustrated that they’re stuck in traffic. we’re all in this together people.
i was changing lanes this morning. about 20 yards behind me was a semi. as i began to move into the lane, i realized the person in front of me had put on her turn signal to switch, too. semi? be nice. semi? be nice. i decided not to cause an accident and continued accelerating. to which the woman, pissed that i didn’t let her get over, started screaming and shaking her head in the “oh no she di’int” kind of way.
i’ve done it before. i’ve got it down perfectly.
but the point is not lost; just like the lines in the las vegas airport on my layover from santa cruz, when lots of people are stuck in a situation with lots of other people and don’t want to be, they are angered by everything. i mean, road rage is a serious thing, and it’s no laughing matter, but seriously do we have to start the morning this way? c’mon.
ps i merged perfectly legally in the lane in front of her much later in the commute — totally by coincidence — and i thought her head was going to explode. it made me laugh. maybe road rage is actually a laughing matter after all.
barack rocked me
January 27, 2008
ok so i’m just sitting on my couch saturday night, minding my own business after having followed the south carolina democratic primaries throughout the day, watching cnn in hopes of catching chrisi onstage waving banners and screaming like the loyal madwoman she is. we were texting. i felt her excitement. it was awesome.
anyway, i didn’t see chrisi, but something very unexpected happened.
now, i’ve seen videos of how jfk managed to unite people — especially young people — during a rather tumultuous time in politics. since his controversial assassination, documentaries and movies and books have been released praising and deriding him for what he actually did in office. was it good? was it bad? some of both. ok, that’s what presidents do for the most part. (unless you’re mostly bad, which is definitely the current state of affairs for our cowboy president and his cronies with an abysmal approval rating.)
approval ratings and polls and opinions aside, last night in a room in columbia, south carolina, a man addressed a local, diverse crowd of people and millions watching nationally. the facts were flooring: he had managed to capture EVERY vote across EVERY demographic except one — the over 60, which was split across edwards and clinton. no color, education, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or age was left behind. he found them all.
how can that be? i’ve never known a candidate to appeal to nearly everyone. that’s an ideal in politics, right? that’s why candidates have to say stupid things i don’t agree with, because there are lots of votes and money waiting for him/her to say that stupid thing before endorsement can happen. lame.
young people DO care about politics. even though our choices since being legally able to vote have been basically a robot gore and a canoeface kerry. all i can remember from gore is his forced kiss, which was awkward. thank god he invented the internet, though. and kerry? douchebag. when he flip flopped over being a buckeye or a wolverine, he lost my vote. there was always nader.
being a person matters to me. i wish there were no politicians whatsoever. but at least if i must support a politician, s/he should be someone that brings together people in a way no other person has in my life to-date.
i’m committed to seeing how the presidential season continues to unfold. but last night, when one of obama’s speech people wrote, and obama said, “while we breathe, we have hope,” i cried.
i have hope, too.
