do you need one?
February 29, 2008
a coworker of mine found this and posted it on our internal blog under the same title. it was too funny not to copy verbatim so i could have it for all of time to personally enjoy.
just wait … you’ll change your mind
February 28, 2008
because i’m not particularly interested in being married or having children, i’ve often been told, “just wait. you’ll change your mind.” maybe. but why? just because you have these things?
if i wanted to get my tubes tied at 27, sure i might be shooting myself in the foot. i can give you that. but at what age will i be outside the finger wagging, “better not do that” onslaught? i mean, why can’t i (aside from realities like it being surgery and costing lots of money)?
it’s not especially frustrating to me. i think it’s funny, actually. an ex-boyfriend’s brother used to always make passing comments to us, “wait til you have kids!” or “wait til your wedding day! you’ll see!” i would just smile and respond with the dreaded fake laugh.
do these people feel absolutely compelled to force upon me their “wisdom” acquired because of their major decisions? like, do i actually say to people in college, “just WAIT til you have to pay taxes after doing freelance work! whoo boy you are gonna be FUCKED! i mean, I WAS!!!”
i hope not.
when it comes to the big — and little — things in life, i like to think i actively seek advice and mentorship from people i know and trust. but when it comes to marriage and kids, i never (absolute) ask for opinions. but i seem to ALWAYS find myself hearing, “just wait.” in other words, people try to push their own experiences onto me as if i’m ignorant of what’s to come — as if i have no say and no choice in the matter.
yes, at 27 i have no idea what i’ll want in five years. shocker. but why do you assume in five years i’ll definitely want what you have? maybe i want to forego wedding stress and changing diapers to instead live in the south of france, sitting in a linen shirt and undies (what? i hate pants.) with coffee beside me, feet up on the balcony railing of my modest penthouse apartment, overlooking the rue de anglais and mediterranean, and writing the next twenty-something’s bible on my macbook air i somehow was able to afford.
i’m happy people have what they want. it’s not what i’d want, but i’m not judging you for it. so why judge me?
pack up your stuff and move it out, cowgirl.
February 26, 2008
no one said this to me today. which is a good thing, because it was my annual review at work, and i could have very easily heard such a statement. except hopefully they don’t call me cowgirl.
anyway, being that this is the first job i’ve actually enjoyed for any length of time, it’s been nice having someplace i go five days a week where i give monkey shit. but being in a positive environment has done more for me personally, arguably, than it has professionally.
professionally? sure, i can work to become an expert in my niche and seamlessly handle the tasks of the day. i’m gettin there, and its a commitment i’m willing to make. getting better professionally is a no brainer.
my review then mentioned a few areas that could use some work, and these, to me, are much harder obstacles. one of those was to slow down. i’m pretty sure you’ll see this on every review i’ve ever had in my entire life. this is not news to me. this never will be. what’s news to me is that after 27 years, i’m still failing to succeed. maybe i should move to the south. or a tarpit. or to planet slowestplanetever so i don’t constantly feel like i should be doing something else instead.
but i think i’ve figured out how to fix the other two areas — being boisterous and flirtatious — which, to me, are somewhat comparably hard to reconcile.
that seems silly, but it’s true. being that, again, it’s the first place i’ve ever worked and i’m surrounded by people i admire, i feel ultra comfortable. i don’t hold much back by nature, but when i feel safe and surrounded by friends, i wear my heart on my sleeve. apparently not everyone else does — which is probably better than how i go about life (read: taking things personally more easily thanks to a thin skin) — and i have to respect that not everyone shares my perspective.
so, to that end, i have to shift my thinking to know that a colleague is a colleague; i hug my friends when i’m happy, and i have to recognize that the workplace isn’t a place where friends gather. it sounds shitty, but, aye, it must be so. it’s a bummer, too, because i have much non-threatening admiration-style love to offer.
on one hand, i’m proud of my blunt honesty and (what i consider) warmth for those around me. i’m trying to live a hearty, joyful life, and if there’s one thing i want people to say about me after i bolt, it’s that they knew me and my joie de vivre was infectious.
which leads me to my second area needing attention — that i’m sometimes too boisterous with my laugh — which i will tackle via selective laughing. yes! possible!
my laugh is like a sneeze, as i’m mentioned before. it comes on strong and i generally have two choices: sneeze loudly and draw attention, or sneeze quietly and potentially blow my nasal passages out my ears.
when i laugh hard, it’s once and done. when i try to hold it in, i start crying and shaking and it’s distracting to everyone until i recover, which i’m generally unable to do because my body is still searching for that initial blow. so either way, if i’m being myself and open to a full laugh, i’m screwed from managing it regardless of situation. so i have to actually shift my thinking away in those situations — from being uninhibited to being inhibited.
i understand the argument that restraint is good in the workplace. in my cases, i agree. but its never been easy for me to temper my feelings for people (whether of friendship, hatred, or love), nor has it been easy to control my emotional (and potentially interruptive physical) response to humor.
it will be a long road, and kind of a disenchated one, at that.
why vitamin water deserves a second shot
February 25, 2008
the first time i ever had vitamin water, i thought it tasted like clouds. or what clouds taste like if you try eating them. i never have. but i imagine they taste like the strawberry kiwi flavor of vitamin water.
now, i know the drink is basically extra calories or whatever, so it kind of works against me trying to keep my girlish figure, but i can’t help it. with radass flavors like “XXX” (just imagine! triple X? so delicious it cannot be named?!? i daresay it must taste like the purest drinks reserved for badasses like vin diesel of chuck norris. but, naye! it’s acai (as if you don’t know what THAT is), blueberry and pomegranite! only the trendiest fruits around!!!!) and “essential,” (aka orange plus tasty calcium) who am i to say no?
no one! that’s who! i must drink vitamin water!
but vitamin water is also radass because of its witty packaging messages like “for best results, stick it in the fridge,” or “the inside is natural. the outside is plastic.”
phew, i’m glad they cleared that one up. i had been trying to drink the bottle itself.
so taking all this into account, i ventured back into vitamin water territory. this was several months ago. i remain addicted to this day, partial to the tubular flavors above plus the lemonade one and ooh! the apple raspberry.
everyone — or thing, i guess — deserves a second shot, right?
